I am a mother, therefore I am judged

Sling baby

Here I am spoiling my child by wearing her in a sling.
Isn’t it and she pretty.

In the two years since I announced my pregnancy I have discovered just how many people judge you for your choices as a mother.

They can be anyone, family, friends, strangers in the street and most of all other mums.

None of us can deny it, we all judge. I cannot cast the first stone.

What is important is I am as relaxed and calm as possible and this ensures W is a happy child. I want the same thing for other mums. No parent could want more than that.

Here are a few comments I’ve experienced just to show how mummy bashing comes from all parenting styles and random strangers:

  • “You should avoid medical intervention.” – I’m diabetic, I’d rather my baby lived thanks.
  • “Why were you induced early? Were you scanned?” – Every two weeks from week six. Diabetic placentas degrade early. I would rather have a living baby.
  • “Giving your child formula changes the flora in their stomach.” – She had low blood sugar and wasn’t interested in feeding. I had to do something.
  • “Why didn’t you express?” – I bloody well tried from week 37 of pregnancy but even after she was born only beads came out.
  • “Has your milk been tested for its nutritional value.” – Oh just f-off.
  • “Don’t let her use you like a dummy.” – Breasts predate dummies (also see response above).
  • “Don’t pick her up every time she makes a noise.” – My child is content.
  • “You don’t want her getting into a habit of sleeping with you.” – We’re both sleeping better.
  • “Are you feeding her again?” – Yes, or maybe she’s sucking for comfort, she’s happy.
  • “You shouldn’t use breastfeeding as comfort.” – Oh just f-off.
  • “I thought breastfeeding stopped at six months. Why are you still doing it?” – If you can then the ideal is exclusively breastfeed for six months and then feed solids and breastmilk until the child weans naturally. This can be at any time until their milk teeth fall out.
  • “You’ll get more sleep if you give her a bottle.” – Not according to some of my friends.
  • “She really enjoyed that formula.” – Oh just f-off and stop undermining my choices.
  • “Bitty.” – Again, just f-off.
  • “It’s disgusting the way you just take your boob out.” – I’m at home!
  • “Urgh you’re washing cloth nappies in a machine. There’s poo in your washing machine.” – At least it’s not going into landfill.
  • “Do you know how long it takes for a disposable to degrade in landfill.” – Do you know how much that cloth nappy cost I put in the nappy disposal unit? Plus I’m pissed off with getting weighed down carrying dirty nappies around. Cloth at home.
  • “You’ll spoil that child.” – She’s six weeks old in a sling and I have two hands. How can she be spoilt?
  • “You’re spoiling that child.” – She’s 15 months old and now she’s in the sling she isn’t screaming her head off and annoying everyone in the shop. How is this spoiling her?
  • “When are you going to give her a bottle?” – She’s had a few and rejects them now. Plus making up bottles is a right pain with all the cleaning, sterilising, boiling water.
  • “Why don’t you give her cow’s milk instead?” – Because she’s not a calf.
  • “It’s so nice to see a baby facing mummy in a pram.” – Yes it is nice, but when they’re older babies want to see out into the world, too.
  • “She should be eating mush fed from a spoon.” – We’re following baby led weaning thanks.
  • “You let her eat chips?” – She has eaten one chip. This does not mean my child lives on a diet exclusively of chips.
  • “You let her eat chocolate?” – She tried a chocolate button at 14 months. This does not mean my child lives on a diet of chocolate. Strangely enough she’s not very keen on chocolate.
  • “You let her watch television.” – She sometimes watches In The Night Garden and Something Special. This does not mean my child sits in front of the television all day, every day. She watches less than an hour a week.
  • “Why did you give her such an awful name?” – It is a beautiful name and she is named after two of her ancestors who are loved and missed.

I really try not to bash anyone. Unfortunately some people saw my post yesterday  as bashing formula feeding mums. What really annoyed me was Tesco breaking the law. I am just as annoyed about Tesco promoting Stella Artois price drop, but sadly it is not against the law.

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